Lethal Events of Friday the 13th

Instantly ever since the word was spread from friend to friend, and from bulletin to bulletin, and this Group, people are now acting like they knew him like a good friend. They want the attention more than the people who need it.

Philip Silverman, a senior i've known, a fellow pal to grow crazy ass long hair, and style out a poncho could of had a better day. How unfortunate he had to die in a lethal car crash on April, Friday the 13th.

Fearful, I thought I could get by in a day, with all the deaths i've faced...it never changes. He is dead, and no longer exists. You can never hear his fresh voice agian, or see him blink. His thoughts and lifestyle were erased. That is what death is, and people just don't understand what it is to die. Sympathy...if you have any, consider the fact that someone no longer exists...

The only picture that CAN be offered, in respect is the one above. For as time passed, I have no right to offer what I do.

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The irony begins with an awakening. I want to become more than who I am, as I always do. The theorized Insanity has been making my head tick, of coarse since Friday. I went to school, thinking deeply about what I am becoming. Better I hope, but uncontrolled. I fear that if i stay this summer, in this home, it will be the end for my mother. She needs the home more than I do, it's because of me my parents and family argues. it was proven during my hobo days.
I lied in bed with Nicole, zoning out, thinking about negativity. How I could of prevented death, and how i've grown up. Maybe when I zoned out, was when he died. I don't want to think about it.

That night, I went with Zac to Megan's grave to pay my respects, and didn't sleep. I tried to nap saturday, but that failed. I spent a day with Nicole, as I feared more and more what I'm doing to her. I'm doing all the wrong things, i'm an adult now- somone who's hurt people, driven illegally, been involved in a gang, as well as drugs and alchohol- it may be over, I MAY be revolutionizing, but I can NEVER erase my past. I'm taking her from her friends and family too, and I don't know what to do about it. I almost left here, i've only stayed here for her. My friends, people i've once been close with....it's like I don't exactly exist. I talk to people, variety by the day, or people in differant states and countries online because of Art, Music, Movies, or such, but they aren't like the people I KNOW. Sorry to the readers who read, but I know you guys feel the same way. I was a stoner too, and I don't look down on it, so don't get mad, but I left that phase. I changed for the best..survival and success, and stayed in the area only for Nicole. Sure itd be nice to hang with a few old pals, but really now, she's all im here for.

Saturday, ended yesterday, duh, where I brokedown like crazy, but held it in. Didnt wanna show it. I threw up in my mouth and swallowed what came. My muscles went to there limits, leaving my body sore as anything, it hurts to move. I was out of my mind, I spent 2 hours in the rain.

The idea of InsaneShiyn is coming back. I think it's a season between Spring and Summer.