In the empty world of hate

I sit here at work, thinking about how grateful and ungrateful I am. Over the years I have gone from pure goodness to a mess, into an insane threat, a piece of shit and now most has shattered. Mostly my bond with Alissa as a sister dying meant losing any family I had at all. I don't know what real friends are without Alissa, no one is ever really there, but like I was told growing up. What are friends for? To use. It sucks. I mean no offense to you guys, i'm the same way to you as you are to me...we only talk when we need something. It sucks a bunch.

Technically I have been homeless for half a week, not a long time, but this isn't the first time. But this time it harmed my pets, and I couldn't risk doing damage to my moms half of the divorce. I'm not a squatter this time. Bleh. I have a few shirts socks pants and all, enough money to not be a bum, i can afford the bus, food, have a job, but my god do I want my electricity and warmth.

but thats not a problem at all. itll be fine, it is fine.

the problem are those double crossers talking behind my back, yeah I know. I was there, and dipped. People I personally have forgiven for screwing me over. I bought them food and gas for the past 3 weeks, and get them out of a lot of shit.

So this is me peeing out the malice that built up today inside. I trusted someone